Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
