I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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