Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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