You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
