i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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