That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I look better un-naked...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
