so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
