She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
