When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's blow job season.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
