Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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