there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
