halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
