I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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