what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
