i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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