What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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