my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I forget how to act sober
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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