Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
