After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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