What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
