look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
