Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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