singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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