no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
