Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
