it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
