for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
