That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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