I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
