I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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