dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
