I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
