I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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