I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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