Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
