College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
