my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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