doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
