remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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