The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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