So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
