I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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