It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
