Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I look better un-naked...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
