Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
