I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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