Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
