I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
