so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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