dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
