Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
