Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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