So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
