Can Purell be used as lube?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
